“Protect the Outer and Inner Child”
We are born with it all! With all the knowledge of ourselves. With all the power and self belief, creativity and love! That being said, we also need others, we need connections and relationships to help us feel safe to continue to move through this life thing.
This piece is dedicated to the power of the child and how we need to protect the outer and inner child. So many of us, myself included, are healing the inner child. Which is a journey brought on us because of intersecting systems of oppression under capitalism that impact community and the family. (What does that mean: racism, classism and levels of poverty cause deep rooted trauma that impact the way our families (caregivers) and communities can care for us). There is big T trauma and little t trauma and a huge differentiating factor between the two is we NEED help to process whatever trauma we experience.
Surviving under systems like capitalism take up the majority of parents, guardians, caregivers time. In turn, separating them from creating, sustaining or maintaining community connections for themselves or their families. The unnecessary amounts of stress they are under greatly reduces the energy they can put into themselves, community and little humans.
That same system will turn around and blame the individual and make it a, “you problem”. Certain caregivers are labeled/ stereotyped as failures and or neglectful parents/ guardians. A key factor that is not considered when examining trauma is that those real traumas are caused on the system level and need to be addressed as such. Neglect, child abuse (emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, intergenerational) they have roots that are deeper than the direct caregivers. Accountability needs to be held on the individual level and upwards to see generational changes. The family needs the village. The family needs a community to lean on and learn from in order to truly support, guide and value little humans.
Although we may not be able to irradiate all forms of trauma or hard experiences children may encounter they (we) need support to process whatever they (we) face. Our continuous goal as a people is to forge communities that protect the most vulnerable, which in most cases are children. This looks like a community and culture that uplifts children, keeps them safe, feeds their curiosity, supports them in being critical, supports them in trusting themselves, trusting their ability to make informed decisions and trusting others.
A community that shares how to live in community and partnerships, one that helps them feel safe enough to share their biggest secret, their wildest dream, their newest insecurity and their scariest moment.
One that cares more about how they feel, more than other people's judgment.
One that prioritizes teaching them how to feel their emotions, communicate them, process them, breathe through them, respond, share, be vulnerable, and not feel alone with their emotions. One that supports them in trusting in their decision making and self determination.
A community that shows them how to create healthy boundaries and respect the boundaries they set. A community that teaches them that their voice is powerful and will be heard. A community that values and recognizes them as being their own people with their own dreams, wants, needs and desires!
There is so much we can’t control or protect children/people from AND there is so much we can do as a society to uplift and guide children along their own journey through life, love and self discovery.
The steps towards that means big steps away from capitalist, individualized systems. When thinking about whole caregivers who have care to give they need the time and energy to show up! We need to invest in a culture that supports rest, reflection, vulnerability, asking for help, community care and so much more; the ripple effects will be BIG. Some of our ancestors have done this before, let’s reach back and learn from them. I’m seeing the shifts daily through respectful parenting movements centered in child rights/ valuing children, folks going to therapy to reflect on their own traumas, folks learning to create spaces for vulnerability with one another. I am proud of us and step by step, we will have less unlearning as a people to do!