humanizing the statistics.
on March 9th, 2020, we held an exhibition titled “The Lucky Ones”. The goal of the show was to provide women the opportunity to start a conversation, highlighting their stories and ensuring the no woman feels like they have to go through it alone. Together, we humanized the stories behind the statistics.
I was told that I am considered one of the lucky ones,
A part of this exclusive group of people that just missed the cut, for the not so lucky ones
Or the “not yet, but you’re next” ones
An in-betweener
But apparently we are all apart of the “I-owe-you-ones” association
Because, they looked at us
Walked by us,
Complimented us,
Smiled at us,
Talked to us,
Danced with us,
Dated us,
Married us,
Because they said so.
Society awards me with the title of lucky one
Because a man ‘just’ groped me and called me pretty
Then another ‘just’ touched me inappropriately and called me baby
Oh and his brother ‘just’ pushed himself on me at the party a little too long after I asked him to stop
He whispered in my ear “if you didn’t want me then why are you dancing like that c’mon”
And then his friend ‘just’ offered me a sexual favour as a bargaining tool to get ahead and said how much he respected me in the same breath
Oh how lucky
And now I am part of the lucky ones
Because, they could have done more
demanded more
taken more
because they expected more and wanted more
Gotten angrier.
Screaming while they came to collect ME, their property?
Me,
Who am I to them
an object
a means to an end
a sexual conquest
an ego booster
anything they want me to be
Which clearly must mean I am a lucky one
because according to those rules they should have done more
they could have done anything
but they only did…
‘Just’ looked at me like I was food
‘Just’ demand I give them a number
‘Just’ a dance
‘Just’ a date
‘Just’ a sexual favour
‘Just’ a relationship
‘Just’ forgiveness
and wrapped it all up in a pretty bow called guilt and manipulation,
peer pressure and fear for your life.
and then said there was no force here,
you had a choice
so
I got off lucky
I owe you one?
You own me, no?
Yet they are the entitled ones
The violent ones
The dangerous ones
The famous ones
The rich ones
The poor ones
The fathers
The law enforcers
The teachers
The family members
The “friends”
The ones, that will protect one another
But unfortunately for them, we are not the ones
We are tired of them blaming us
Downplaying us, saying it was ‘just’ a little touch
Double victimizing us
Shaming us
Playing us as pawns in their deadly game
a game of I can take your life if I feel like it, but maybe not today
I can steal that self confidence and independence you once walked with
and leave you with the need to look over your shoulder
There is no “you should have, could have or would have” done
Because all you had to do was be alive for them to feel “you’re mine”
you are made from me
You are made of me
you are made for me
women
you are mine?
But we don’t accept this anymore
we say no
once we question it, they view us as the “ungrateful ones”
Because their actions are not ’just’ anything
we still say no to them
to their protectors
and a society that says we are lucky because they could have raped us. Or killed us.
because what they have done is already too much
So we are not lucky
We are not silent
Anymore.
T
Photography: Deji Fadero & Co-creation: Jasmine Hawamdeh
They are the lucky ones.
As an Iraqi woman, I am one of the lucky ones.
I am lucky because, when I protest I am not told it has to be segregated by gender. I am lucky because I am not in fear of being married off. I am lucky because I am not afraid of working in a male-dominated field.
Women have always been an integral part of society, from the workplace to the revolution. Now that women are in every workplace imaginable, we are facing discrimination within those roles, and are celebrated for being one of “the firsts”- as if women have never worked before or held these rolls. What’s frustrating is that women have ALWAYS been a part of the workforce but have ever been appreciated, respected or compensated fairly, in every part of the world.
I am one of the lucky ones because I can work any place I choose and will face descrimination. I am one of the lucky ones because I am looked down upon no matter where I go. I am one of the lucky ones because the gender wage gap is real and I won’t always be compensated fairly for my work.
صوت المرأة ثورة “A woman’s voice is the revolution”
-Unknown
As a black woman of Jamaican descent, I am one of the lucky ones.
I am lucky because my opinions are valued, I am lucky because I have not been placed the burden of choosing school over the care of my family. I am lucky because I have access to a great education and future opportunities. I am lucky because I am not overly sexualized or objectified in public spaces by men on a daily basis.
There is a great sense of strength and pride being a black woman of Jamaican descent. We are strong, both in mind and in body. Jamaican women are extremely resilient. We are caring and extremely protective of our families and that's what makes us a force to be reckoned with. Black Jamican women have voices that can be heard for generations, we create change for a better future as well as use our past as a driving force for change.
I am one of the lucky ones because; I am an angry black woman. I am lucky because I am expected to stay at home with the children, and spend my days cooking and cleaning. I am lucky because my body is overly sexualized, and objectified in music created by men and popularized regardless of the degrading light it shines on women . I am lucky because the lightness of my skin relates directly to my worth socially, aesthetically and culturally. "My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
- Maya Angelou
As a Palestinian woman of the diaspora, I am one of the lucky ones.
I am lucky because I am not living under a 50-year-long Israeli military occupation. I am lucky because my brother has not been imprisoned, my home has not been demolished, I have access to water and because daily restrictions have not been imposed upon my movement.
Regardless of the excruciating circumstances, Palestinian women living under occupation have not been defeated. They are the epitome of strength, patience and more than the mothers’ of martyrs. They hold central roles for the liberation of Palestinians, strengthening our communities and uplifting spirits. Palestinian women are active agents of change and resistance.
I am one of the lucky ones because I have the yearning desire to return. I am lucky because as a woman, I am looked down upon in leadership spaces, told to keep quiet or calm down. I am lucky because I am even allowed in these spaces. I am one of the lucky ones because I am a Palestinian woman holding an olive branch in one hand and my kufiyah in the other, working towards a #FreePalestine. “I have learned that a woman can be a fighter, a freedom fighter, a political activist and that she can fall in love, and be loved, she can be married, have children, be a mother... Revolution must mean life also; every aspect of life”- Leila Khaled •
as a sudani fiilipinx woman born and raised in a metropolitan desert far away from home, i am one of the lucky ones.
i am lucky because i reside in a place far away from the violence imposed back home. i am lucky because there is a barrier between me and the tears of my home’s niles and oceans. i am lucky because i am breathing.
i am lucky because i come from a long line of women who despite all the belittlement, found ways to be the backbone of the community. found ways to resort to kindness to help those who came after them bloom. found ways to be resourceful in a sea of nothing. found ways to be resilient despite being silenced by men who failed to be there for them.
i am lucky because as a fat, “too dark” for a blasian womxn, i am even allowed to exist. i am lucky because i am never heard in conversations just because i am not the loudest, the most “confident”. i am lucky because my experience is constantly gawked at and questioned. i am lucky because you have assumed my being even before speaking to me. i am one of the lucky ones because i hold a strong connection to my gut, ancestors and land. i am lucky because that connection is stronger than anyone who dares to silence me.
“Ignoring your intuition and denying what you know in your gut is self-betrayal.” — Maryam Hasnaa
As a woman of mixed identity, I am one of the lucky ones.
I am lucky because I have had the opportunity to pursue higher education, breaking free of the cycle of oppression through accessing knowledge that was never meant for people like me. I am lucky because I get to work and be in spaces that were not designed for women, while attempting to do better for my family. I also consider myself lucky because I have an opportunity to use the absurdly real privilege associated with the colour of my skin to listen to my sisters* and elevate their voices by making space, rather than speaking for them. Yet, I am also fortunate to have not been jailed or tortured for using my voice to speak out against injustices.
Being a first-generation student, daughter of an immigrant mother and a survivor of domestic and sexual violence I have learned immense resiliency. I can see opportunity in some of the darkest places and have rewritten the narrative about what it means to be a woman. Through listening and reflecting I have learned what pieces of wisdom society systemically keeps from us, as women, and endeavour every day to make it available to brighten the shadows which are cast upon us.
I am one of the lucky ones because I have survived circumstances of grave injustice from infancy. I have been raped, beaten and left for dead but have refused to remain broken; learning to heal and shed whilst refusing to be silent. “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own” - Audre Lorde
As an Indian Kashmiri, International student, I am one of the lucky ones.
I’m lucky because I haven’t faced racism or “go back to your country” remarks for being “raised in a sh*thole brown country”. I have never been called a “brownie” or a “curry person”. It’s easy for people in “first world countries” to say, “Why did you come here then?” to international students who work, study, pay double the number of normal fees and do everything on their own. Please understand we came here for better opportunities. Homesickness is one of the major emotions that international students deal with in a new country. That and stereotypes from people who are ignorant of our culture and background. Having a different accent is ok, wearing clothes pertaining to your own culture/nationality is ok, eating different food is ok, not having perfect English is ok. End racism against international students now! In fact, stop increasing our taxes every two years.
I am one of the lucky ones because people appropriate my culture, love Chicken Tikka Masala, dance on Bollywood songs, learn Kathak/Bharat Natyam, do Yoga and when they meet the people who come from the country which originated all of this they get scared. So they love the culture glam but hate its people.
Freedom is not for the timid.
Vijay Lakshmi Pandit
As a south-Asian Muslim woman, I am one of the lucky ones.
I am one of the lucky ones because I am not visibly Muslim, with the fear of having my hijab ripped off at any moment, I am one of the lucky ones because I was able to leave Saudi Arabia to have way more freedoms here, I am one of the lucky ones because I can walk hand-in-hand with a man and no one will arrest me.
Living in Saudi Arabia, I wanted to work, I couldn't, I wanted to learn how to drive, at the time, I couldn’t but I am truly blessed to have a father that taught me that the society I was living in is not something I should accept. He encouraged me to put on a baseball cap, wear a hoodie, cover my hair, and get on the road. He is a man that encouraged and continues to encourage me to break any and all stereotypes. He is what true ally ship looks like.
I am one of the lucky ones because I still face racism on a daily basis, because people are surprised when they don’t hear an accent. I am one of the lucky ones because the racism I faced in Saudi Arabia was so normalized I didn’t know it was racism until I moved here. I am one the lucky ones because I live in a society where practicing my religion openly comes with blatant Islamophobia. “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” ― Maya Angelou